From my e-mail (no lightbulb jokes, just daffynitions)
TONIC - a smooth liquid generally enjoyed over ice after a choir rehearsal.
DOMINANT - in a choral relationship, usually the soprano.
AUGMENTATION - delicate surgery for altos involving the implantation of "falsettos."
LEITMOTIF - like a regular motif, but less filling.
SCORE - Basses 8, Tenors 0
CONTRALTO - an alto who has been convicted of a felony.
POLYCHORAL MOTET - six parrots singing "Exultate Justi"
ALEATORIC MUSIC - music composed by the random selection of pitches and rhythms. Frequently found in the choir anthem.
BASSO CONTINUO - when the conductor can't get the fools to stop singing.
CASTRATO - the highest male voice (some alteration required).
ETUDE - what comes right before the Beatitudes.
GLISSANDO - what directly precedes the highest note of the soprano part.
THEME - we hate this anthem.
THEME AND VARIATIONS - we hate this anthem, the composer and all of his/her relatives.
SMORZANDO - the "all-you-can-eat" buffet at Luciano's.
GRAND PAUSE - when the conductor loses his or her place.
ANTIPHONAL - leaving your answering machine on all the time.
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